Mr. Erik Erikson’s stages of identity development have always been a point of interest for me, especially as a student of human development and family sciences. A fundamental occurrence in this life is figuring out the age-old question: Who am I?
Many of us spend our lifetime trying to answer this question as we evolve and determine our personal values, goals, and beliefs. Theorists suggest that much of this development occurs during our adolescent years as we explore different roles to attempt to understand how we fit into the world around us. The exploration of roles can lead to identity confusion as we struggle to navigate the realm of who we might be, ultimately resulting in insecurity and an unstable sense of self. However, if we successfully maneuver through this phenomenon, we start to become secure and cultivate a unique view of ourselves.
It is essential to acknowledge the numerous internal and external factors that influence our identity development. Such factors can include cultural, social, and interpersonal influences like gender, ethnicity, and family dynamics. Needless to say, the process of identity development is not elementary.
I recall when I first began the exploration phase, which was in the first grade. I attempted to mirror the behaviors and actions of my peers to “fit in,” with the version I thought I was supposed to be. I also must be mindful that I was only a first grader with my whole life ahead of me, so embodying those around me was a regular occurrence. However, the phase of identity exploration and confusion lasted longer than I had hoped, which resulted in a dislike for myself.
It was not until college that I recognized my lack of sense of self – I didn’t know who I was. The years of trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be and the constant need for validation from others started to weigh on me. I knew that I couldn’t live in a way that was inauthentic and untrue to myself. Even if I wasn’t the perfect person for everyone else, I needed to embody a version of myself that I genuinely loved and appreciated.
The journey to myself wasn’t an easy one, but I can never thank myself enough for not giving up. Somewhere along the way, I became truly and apologetically myself. Just as Erikson posited in his theory of stages of development, I will continue to evolve and develop my sense of self throughout my lifetime. And I cannot wait to meet that person.
