Originally posted on Multiple Sclerosis News Today
Two weeks ago, I was notified that one of the lesions on my brain has grown. This led me and my care team to decide it was time to switch multiple sclerosis (MS) treatments.
Soon after I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis in 2017, I was put on Copaxone (glatiramer acetate injection), but soon realized the schedule of three weekly injections didn’t fit my lifestyle as a high school senior. Months later, my neurologist at the time switched me to Gilenya (fingolimod), which kept me stable for years, except for one relapse in 2019.
Fast forward to now: Because my recent MRIs show mild MS progression, I will be switching to Kesimpta (ofatumumab) within the next few weeks.
My current reality
A week before my MRIs, I began struggling with depression. I believe this happened because there was a voice in the back of my head and a feeling in my gut telling me something bad was on the horizon.
During this time, my appetite essentially disappeared, and when I did eat, I was extremely nauseous. I also slept a lot more than I had in previous months. My work and school productivity began to slowly decrease, and I had no idea why it was happening. But when I received my scan results, it all started to make sense.
Now that I know my MS has progressed, my depression has worsened. Over the past week, I’ve been sleeping in late and taking naps throughout the day, which is extremely unlike me. I’ve also watched my favorite comfort show, “New Girl,” in its entirety two or three times — something I haven’t done in a while. Normally, I’m up and at ‘em early in the morning, working and cleaning, but I haven’t had the motivation or energy to do so recently.
The other day, I was having a conversation with my partner when I realized that I’ve been struggling with depression — and that’s completely OK. At the end of the day, I’m a human with feelings and emotions, and right now, I’m beyond scared. I constantly remind myself that I don’t always have to be strong and that it doesn’t take away from who I am as a person.
I just thank my lucky stars that I have a wonderful support system that will be by my side during these difficult times. Even though most of my family lives in San Antonio, Texas, they are never too far or too busy to come visit me in Austin. I’m also eternally grateful to have such a loving and caring partner who does more to take care of me than I could ever ask. He is my home away from home, which makes these dark days much less scary.
