Originally posted on Multiple Sclerosis News Today
Many of my personal breakthroughs and discoveries occurred during college, when I was living in a new city as a young adult with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS). One of those “aha!” moments was understanding that saying no takes practice, but it’s a necessary aspect of life.
A few years later, I’m still actively practicing this skill. There wasn’t a particular occurrence that brought on this realization, but rather an accumulation of burnout episodes and declines in my health.
For much of my life, I tended to prioritize other people’s needs and desires over my own — simply because I never wanted to disappoint anyone or create conflict. As a result, I said yes to just about everything, which took a toll on my well-being.
Throughout college, my plate was always filled to the point of breaking for the sake of productivity. Saying yes to every role, research or work opportunity, and social gathering that presented itself left my battery drained with little to no time to recover, which ultimately resulted in higher levels of chronic fatigue. In addition, I’m easily overwhelmed, and being so stressed exacerbated all of my MS symptoms.
The benefits of saying no
During those times, there was a voice in the back of my head telling me to slow down, rest, and take a step back if needed. This voice was my mom.
My mom has repeatedly reminded me that my circumstances are different from those around me, but it’s taken me years to understand that slowing down, resting, and taking a step back can sometimes mean saying no.
Declining events or opportunities can take a considerable amount of practice if you’re accustomed to always accepting. But saying no is a way to prioritize ourselves and honor our limitations. Other benefits include establishing boundaries, limiting stress, and reducing feelings of resentment.
In 2022, a group of researchers at the University of Texas at Austin published a systematic review in the journal Multiple Sclerosis and Related Disorders examining the relationship between stress and MS. Evidence supported a link between stress and MS relapse, highlighting the importance of keeping our stress to a minimum.
Living with MS poses enough daily challenges and obstacles. We shouldn’t exhaust our precious time and energy if we don’t need to do so.
Saying no is easier said than done, but remember that “No” is a full sentence.
